The Olive Garden Analogy - my last post

WildWingMafia

New member
Nov 8, 2012
14
0
Last post for a while here. Maybe permanently.

I got an iPad mini for Christmas. I was already adamantly against buying new tables or supporting Kickstarter campaigns until FarSight fixed their issues. But I figured I might as well download what I already paid for on my new device.

Well of course, even though all the rest of my apps, files, music, etc. were there, my pinball tables weren't. Oh my iPad knew that I owned TPA, but TPA didn't think I owned ANY tables. (As opposed to all of them.)

I tried restarting, opening both the 'free' and 'paid' version of TPA, doing all kinds of stuff for about an hour to no avail. Worf, from our forums, was kind enough to walk me through, step by step, a very unintuitive fix which, due to its nature, clearly shows that the problem originates with FarSight. This was not a minor 'the bumper rubbers are wrong' complaint. This was 'my tables that I paid for aren't there AGAIN and the game wants me to pay AGAIN!'

So thank you, Worf. I am very much obliged for your help and I'll be trying out the fix tonight.

To others: I'm not an idiot. Yes it's my correct ID. No TPA is not installed on more than 4 apple devices.

But here's my favorite: the poster who said 'probably operator error.' REALLY?!?! How do you read the problem and determine that? How do you read other people on the same forum having the exact same issue and determine 'operator error?' How far up Shortsight's butt do you have to be to make their cash-gobbling, game-breaking bug something I'm responsible for? By that logic, I'm sure the guy who tried to reset his FarSight password 29 times and still wasn't successful after a response from FarSight is probably responsible due to 'operator error' too. :/

'Operator error' my aching butt. If it was operator error, there wouldnt be a step by step fix for people who had similar issues. Read the forum. See how common this crap is.

I get liking a company, but there are far too many people on this forum that believe that Farsight can do no wrong, and if they have done wrong, well, 'by golly, its their right and privilege to do wrong and we should all just be thankful little peasants that they release anything at all, bugs be damned.'

Let's apply that logic to what I like to call the 'Olive Garden' analogy:

I like the Olive Garden. I'm a FAN of the Olive Garden. I support the Olive Garden with my cash. They in turn give me food and an environment to eat it in that matches what they advertised.

If I received my meal with a hair in my soup, I would send the soup back. I don't make excuses for the Olive Garden, nor do I care that the kitchen staff is depleted because of a flu bug and they just had a menu change and they ran out of hair nets. I just want a new bowl of soup without a hair. This will not stop me from going back to Olive Garden, at least not initially.

If I came back at a later date, and the meatballs weren't cooked through, I'd send them back. Nobody at my table would be verbally blowing the Olive Garden restaurant chain or staff and telling me that cooked meatballs are hard to program..er, 'cook', but dont worry they'll fix it. I'm not happy, but neither is it the end of the world. But certainly after two issues, I'd think twice about going back to Olive Garden again.

If Shortsight's TPA was an Olive Garden, the replacement hairless soup and the cooked-through meatballs wouldn't be back out to my table for a year, if ever.

Is comparing The Olive Garden to Shortsight a fair analogy? Well let's see...

-Olive Garden has many more menu items than pinball tables.

-More customers to deal with on a daily basis.

-Cooking is also hard. I understand that. I don't need to take a semester at Le Cordon Bleu to better empathize with the chef. I get that it's hard, but I also get that there are a lot of other chefs (working for both large and small restaurants) that don't **** something up every time something comes out of their kitchen.

-There's a lot of things to screw up.

-They also have to deal with things that the customers dont see: food transport, supply line, tomato shortages, shipping, hiring, franchise fees, health boards they have to answer to, resource issues, energy issues, POS terminals that have to be programmed and maintained, relationships and protocols with credit card companies - each with different demands, etc. etc. ad naseum.

Yeah, I think this'll work. So without further ado- "The Shortsight's Olive Garden" experience:

You walk into Shortsight's Olive Garden. You first dined there when they had a limited menu. Only about 4 items. They weren't perfect, but they were pretty good at the price point. You told your friends about Shortsight's Olive Garden. You invited friends to experience Shortsight's Olive Garden with you. You even buy a few Shortsight's Olive Garden gift cards for friends and family members. But you notice a disturbing trend.

Each time you show up lately, there seems to be an issue with your food. First it was the hair in the soup, then the un-cooked meatballs, now its more serious stuff- you literally can't eat the chicken because its raw. A meal-breaking issue.

Your waitress and your order disappears. You wait for 2 hours before you get what you ordered and even then, its not right.

The latest sleight was, by far, the most egregious: You paid for your meal last time, but this time, before you were seated, the manager of Shortsight's Olive Garden blocked you at the door and said you haven't paid for your food from previous visits and that you MUST pay again if you ever want to enjoy even one menu item off of Shortsight's Olive Garden menu again! (with the exception of their Arabian Nights Ravioli which is available to everyone for free, just not the pro version)

After a lot of hassle and attempt to fix an infuriating issue (which is Shortsight's issue, CHASE bank shows that you've paid for the meal) you decide to give it one more shot. You go to Shortsight's Olive Garden one more time, but this time with a critical eye and a well-deserved skeptical nature. You sit down for your meal. Suddenly you start noticing commotion at the tables around you:

"Waiter? My meal doesnt look anything like it did in the menu."

"Waitress! Its been 3 hours and I still havent been served!"

"This new menu looks like it was photoshopped by monkeys with access to the Atari 2600 clip-art collection!"

"One of the busboys just literally came by and took my plate away and the fork out of my mouth while I was eating and now I cant find him or my meal!"

"This fish is undercooked!"

"This spaghetti sauce literally has like 20 bugs floating around in it!"

"Our party helped pay for the development and creation of this menu item! We literally paid hundreds of dollars for this menu item to exist and we still havent received it, while those people who are new to the restaurant are eating our menu item for $7.99!!"

You see people calling for attendants that literally do nothing to fix the issue.

And then you realize - everybody in the restaurant are having issues. No matter what menu item they ordered, there's something wrong with each one. Some are minor -hair in the food, dirty and spotted silverware, black splotches on the playfield... er, plates, something wrong with the presentation- and some are major - salmonella, forks that suddenly don't work anymore, double and triple charging...

The few waitresses and chefs are overwhelmed. You LIKE the waitresses and chefs, you know that they're genial people. You've heard that they've even invited a loyal customer or two on a behind-the-scenes tour of Shortsight's Olive Garden. That's all well and good, but that doesn't affect your current and very negative Shortsight's Olive Garden experience.

You notice that one or two minor issues get taken care of, but those satisfied 'thank you's' are drowned out by a cacophony of angry customers whose major complaints havent even been addressed yet.

One really loyal customer stands up and addresses the crowd:

"You dont understand! Shortsight would fix things faster, but every time they fix something they have to have it signed off by multiple Olive Garden franchise license holders who have to taste the dishes to make sure they're okay and that they approve! Then there's a 3 week to 1 year delay period between when the chefs hand over the finished dinner and when the waitresses can finally take it out to the tables. It costs them $40,000 every time an order is messed up and has to be replaced! It's a financial decision to keep Shortsight from going bankrupt!"

And that all may be true--- but you cant help but think to yourself, "if that's the way it is with every menu item, Shortsight knows that going into it... all the more reason to do a hell of a lot of taste-testing and MAKE SURE IT'S RIGHT THE FIRST TIME IT COMES OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!!"

The explanation does little to quell the crowd. More and more reports of disgusted and disappointed diners ring out through the restaurant. And amidst that chaos, you realize this is the way the Shortsight's Olive Garden experience is going to be.

It was a nice idea. Maybe they grew too big too fast. Whatever the reason, you dont need this kind of frustration accompanying your dining experience. You decide to head down to Virtual Italian or Future Italian. Sure they have a few minor issues, but their menu is even bigger than Shortsight's Olive Garden, and honestly, you get what you pay for. They're still running their FREE promotion. You look down the street at the new Chinese place, Zen. You hear they dont have the rights to Italian food right now, but if Shortsight's Olive Garden keeps doing business the way they're doing it now, you have no doubt that Shortsight's Olive Garden will be out of business in a few years and maybe Zen can get the rights to do Italian. You dont notice many bugs in their dishes.

You get up from your table, wade through the complaints, and head for the door. Occasionally a waiter or a really dedicated customer with a mouth full of bugs tries to stop you:

"There's Attack From Mars Marinara Sauce coming soon!"

"A Whitewater Zinfandel will quench your anger!"

The staff is working as quickly as they can. But that doesn't change anything. All you know is that you are never, ever going to Shortsight's Olive Garden again, and you're suggesting your friends and family do the same.

--Deuces folks. Thanks again for those who were kind and helped. I genuinely appreciate it.

To those who don't like me, commence picking apart my post until you can find one tiny straw-man argument to rail against.

Blame me. Make me a pariah. Verbally blow Shortsight. Just remember: It's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Something else to keep in mind: The more you put up with, the more you'll have to put up with because Shortsight knows you'll put up with it.

PS- I still sorta wonder what IGN, 1-UP, GamesRadar or any number of games websites and publications would think about bug-mania. Especially the part about KickStarter contributors being screwed.

Hmmmm.....

WWM
 

Heretic

New member
Jun 4, 2012
4,125
1
Im sorry to hear of your minor issues

Ignored 2/3rds of your rant

Cya soon

Btw whats with the glorified im leaving posts lately...must be that time of year

Edit- while no tables is hardly a minor issue it seems localised bare with it
 
Last edited:

Jeff Strong

Moderator
Staff member
Feb 19, 2012
8,144
2
This forum is a great place, but you have to understand that, as with any forum, you're going to get various replies to your problem that may or may not be helpful. While you'll usually find your answer here, if the only thing you're looking for is tech support then you'll need to email support@pinballarcade.com
 

Bonzo

New member
May 16, 2012
902
1
Pay once, come to our all you can eat buffet 24/7 for the rest of your life... Yeah, grrrrreat analogy o_O
 
N

Nik Barbour

Guest
What's going on with all the "I'm leaving for ever" posts recently?
Is it some kind of holiday induced lemming mentality?
Slip away quietly without the dying swan routine - it's more dignified and manly.

Stay - Go, whatever! If you do go and stick to it, you'll be the first vocal quitter to do so that doesn't slink back. (This is the 3rd right?) :)
 

Metalzoic

New member
Jun 8, 2012
907
0
Ha! I enjoyed that so much I read it twice! Then I copied and saved it for future reference.

Not only was it humorous, but very true to the situation and you basically mirrored my own thoughts.
I might actually be angrier about it since I mostly play the Vita version which seems to have the most issues.
 

SKILL_SHOT

Banned
Jul 11, 2012
3,659
1
Wheres Mark wyda? Maybe you could empathise with him. :p You gotta love the passion though, I mean the time it took to write:p I personaly would have said F'it! and not gone public like a scorend lover publicly forevermore. I want MORE CRY BABIES! BABIES I WANT TO HERE FROM YOU! REACTION! Its your choice and to you it was a bad 1 so NOW your a VICTIM? I know FS is going to continue the same shenanagins, but I CHOOSE to endure.
 

smooverr

New member
Oct 28, 2012
375
0
Back on topic. Very entertaining read. And not entirely inaccurate, but a little unnecessary. Kinda beating a dead horse at this point.
 

SKILL_SHOT

Banned
Jul 11, 2012
3,659
1
he aint playing pinball what else is he going to do? dam! every button pressed to write that would have netted you a decent score on any table:p
 

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