The Pinballs of Wrath [Rant-ish]

Feeling better today...although that could be simply because I slept for 15 hours last night, after several sleepness nights of coughing and struggling to breathe. But we seem to have had an invasion of martyrs while I was incapacitated, of which the following is an example. Sorry, you're going to have to follow the link, it would eat all of the 10,000-character limit and then some if I quoted it directly.

The Olive Garden Analogy - my last post

Now, this is at a least mildly entertaining rant and on some level has potentially valid points. But he completely overplayed the righteous indignation card, which led to predictable mockery further down the thread (read those posts, too, some of them are quite funny). But one response that stood out was:

Am I the the only person who wonders how some of these people deal with, you know.....REAL problems. I blew the head gasket on my car and I didn't get as upset as some people seem to get over the buttons they used on the new menu or the occasional table bug.

There's a new PAPA video of of an amazing tournament round of Twilight Zone. One player was just about to get Lost in the Zone (in tounament mode, mind you) when the relay to Battle the Power started malfunctioning and basically cost him cashing it in. Bugs happen in real work pinball too, but no one stomped away.
Let it be said at once that if I were screwed out of LITZ during the PAPA Division A Finals due to a malfunction, they would have needed to employ the bleeper box once or twice for the video. No one likes getting screwed out of their hard work, especially a wizard mode. But I wouldn't have started in on the PAPA organizers by calling them incompetent and worse. The PAPA machines are only publicly played twice a year and are meticulously maintained - there is simply no cause to raise hell that a malfunction occurred, because no amount of maintenance would have prevented the issue.

But I too am mystified as to what such people would do if they came home after a hard day's work to a 90-degree house because the air conditioning had stopped working. Do these people, upon backing into another car accidentally while leaving a parking space, scream bloody murder that the other car shouldn't have been there? And what happens if, God forbid, they actually do find a hair in their soup at Olive Garden?

What is starting to incense me - and why I've started devoting blog posts to try to explain what actually goes on in a software kitchen - is the insinuation these martyrs always seem to give that players who enjoy TPA as it is today are incompetent, unaware sheep who deserve to be fleeced, and more particularly that anyone who tries to offer any sort of explanation or counterargument for why these bugs and issues exist, or why the game is still enjoyable despite those issues, is some blind zealot who would understand how terrible things are if he'd merely open his eyes:

One really loyal customer stands up and addresses the crowd:

"You dont understand! Shortsight would fix things faster, but every time they fix something they have to have it signed off by multiple Olive Garden franchise license holders who have to taste the dishes to make sure they're okay and that they approve! Then there's a 3 week to 1 year delay period between when the chefs hand over the finished dinner and when the waitresses can finally take it out to the tables. It costs them $40,000 every time an order is messed up and has to be replaced! It's a financial decision to keep Shortsight from going bankrupt!"
Chris eventually responded to this assuming he was the one being referred to the "really loyal customer". And given WWM's words (that he shoved in the "really loyal customer's" mouth), I think that's a fair and most likely correct assumption. And I think he did a good job responding while maintaining the Olive Garden metaphor.

The other plausible identity for the "really loyal customer" - the $5,000 backer for Twilight Zone - hasn't really said anything. Or actually, he's said quite a bit. He's been pulling a fast one on the forum for a while now by referring to himself in the third person. That was a lie. I'm that backer, and I'll be touring FarSight's kitchen too at some point, but not for a while...I experience panic attacks if I have to drive for any length of time in snow and ice, so now is not an appropriate time for me to trek up the mountain. (Note for the observant: FarSight has not yet added the top 5 kickstarter backers' initials to the high score list for TZ and ST:TNG. I have no idea who "BAF" is either, but he's not me.)

So by these martyrs' standards, I'm either completely insane or a complete idiot. Since I'm not actually either of those things, I suppose I better stand up and address the crowd, most of whom are probably looking up at me in annoyance, since 98% of them were happily enjoying their meatballs and pasta before all this commotion happened.

Yes, I'm aware that there are issues in TPA. I am reminded of them every time I play Scared Stiff for a high score and that score isn't saved. I am reminded of them every time I log out of TPA and then have to perform the Worf Maneuver to get my tables back in order. I am reminded of them every time I see an in-game issue and think "if only I could see TPA's source code, I could probably fix that". I am painfully reminded of them every time a game of Twilight Zone goes on...and on...and on, and then ST:TNG turns around and kicks my arse eight ways from Sunday, which is the opposite of what's supposed to happen (although the real ST:TNG is by no means easy).

I am also aware that I can play a high-quality recreation of Theatre of Magic (and RBION and MM and...) wherever I want. I am aware I can play Cirqus Voltaire on my 360, which is one of my few favorite tables not represented at CP Pinball (although I hear rumors we're getting one in soon! I hope it has blue neon...). I am aware at some point I'll have a personal library of 40+ tables to choose from, and since I don't have spare land and building to house a collection of real tables, nor quite the finances to afford it nor the time to maintain it, TPA is really the only way that's going to happen. I have chosen to support TPA, knowing that there have been occasional difficulties and that there will likely be occasional difficulties in the future. It is unfortunate that these difficulties seem to be earth-shattering for some people, but given how these people have acted, I don't think anything FarSight (or I) could say or do will make them happy.

I am further aware of the Chinese place, Zen, across the street. If I wanted to eat Chinese today, I would have gone there. Sometimes I do eat there, but not very often; the cooks there are prone to wild flights of fancy and sometimes you find aerated chocolate in your kung pao chicken. I know there is another restaurant called VP that serves more traditional dishes, but up until recently every time I went into VP for dinner, the ceiling collapsed before I could order anything.

Please continue to inform the manager of your occasional bowl of cold soup, of the errant bug in your lasagna, and the fact you think the sign out front is hideous. The management needs to hear about these things so they can be fixed, maybe not tonight, but at some point. But don't choke the wait staff, and don't discharge verbal firearms into the kitchen. Dead chefs can't cook.

Oh, and one more thing:

Dude, you're totally right, the evil money grubbing powers that be in Big Bear Lake are sitting behind a room full of monitors filled with bug threads, petting a white cat and laughing manically while they send your cash through their industrial size bill counters.
You, sir, win the internets for today. Chris, did you happen to see any white cats or SPECTRE signs while you were up there? And someone with better Photoshop skills than me, find that picture of Jay Obernolte signing the TZ license and morph the papers into the white cat and make Jay look like Number 1!
 

Sean

New member
Jun 13, 2012
682
0
Glad to see I'm not alone in finding the self-righteous vitriol I see increasingly on this forum utterly baffling and tiresome.

It's not dissimilar to a road rage incident or email war which starts because of an imagined slight that isn't real. The number of assumptions about how software development works or what kind of business model Farsight has or what is actually involved in getting a game in Xbox Live or the Apple App Store is staggering, much less the bizarre conclusions people come to about the flesh-and-blood human beings behind the scenes and their motivations.

I really enjoy pinball a lot or I wouldn't have bought every release for this app, much less be planning to buy nearly all of them again on another platform, but it really is just a game, a pastime. It's not the end of the world for me that Black Knight isn't exactly like a machine I've not laid hands on in thirty years. If it is for someone else, well, they have some seriously messed-up priorities and need professional help!
 

CC13

New member
Sep 1, 2012
340
0
For my own part, I try to be sympathetic to people airing their grievances in such a manner (it helps that I've had issues with downloads before and am currently having problems with purchasing ST:TNG) and think that part of the reason people react so vehemently is that they do care (the panoply of "easy buttons" available to upper-middle-class First Worlders doesn't help, either, as they have raised expectations beyond what a studio like FS taking on a project like TPA can be reasonably expected to meet), but after a while, even I have to start saying, "Oh, learn a new tune already!" Still, even that comes second to enjoying new tables and beating my personal best scores.

On a lighter note, I must say that you haven't taken the pinball-app-as-restaurant metaphor nearly far enough. What sorts of restaurants would all the other pinball apps out there be? Here are a few of my thoughts on the matter:

-A.S.K. Homework: Picture Happy Days and you about have what A.S.K. Homework are going for. Their selection is a little limited, but they do their thing very well and do more than well enough to prosper. Just make sure to ask about their buffet line—it's much cheaper than ordering á la carte.

-Gameprom: Gameprom strike me as pinball fast food more than anything. They seem to be competing largely on price, with name recognition also playing an important part. However, every so often, they come out with a new and interesting menu item (e.g., Arcade Pinball).

-LittleWing: I envision them as a really cool little hole-in-the-wall fusion place that only a few people know about, but their fans are so devoted that they eat there at least twice a week. Older menu items do tend to get unceremoniously discontinued, but hopefully, the new restaurant they opened a couple of years back will revive them.
 

Sean DonCarlos

Moderator
Staff member
Mar 17, 2012
4,293
0
Carl Spiby;bt92 said:
And this ladies and gentlemen, is why you shouldn't blog when you're hungry :)
Actually, I hadn't eaten lunch yet when I posted this...what pinball game would correspond to Thai food?
 

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