Most maddening Retro Tables

yespage

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Oct 31, 2015
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The Retro tables are sieves. Games aren't supposed to last long and while the tables don't play themselves as much as say Central Park, there is a decent amount of luck involved in good scores. I'd love to see a histogram of the Top Ten scores lists with all of their scores. I have found there are two Retro tables that are just mind blowing levels of frustration.

Soccer Kings - Retro - This one is insidious! Generally tables don't entice people to purposefully drain a ball, but with the left drain area, you can score 1,000 easy. To continue trying to score on the main playfield is risking draining down the middle or to the right. Nudging is extremely important on this table, but you can lose control so easily and drain before you know it. For me, often a retro table is about one ball. You score 90% on that ball and everything else goes to heck, but you get a high score. Soccer Kings needs three balls. Three 1,000 scores at the end, plus trying to get those targets which for me is less skill in hitting them as much as the skill is just keeping the ball alive. You score the 1,000 on the targets and it means everything... until you score just 1,500 on that ball, when it drains to the right! FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!

Mexico '86 - Retro - This one is absurdly cruel. Where as Soccer Kings provides useful nudging, Mexico '86 provides three 1,000 target set ups which stay lit through out game and don't reset. How kind of Magic Pixel. But the right slingshot at the bottom... it is the Game of Thrones of slingshots, the cause of death of roughly 104% of all balls played on that table to the left out lane! To make matters worse, even nudging tends to put the ball into a no-man's land which will eventually drain. Genie has the left out-lane which is my greatest cause of anxiety in all pinball, as to whether that ball goes right to the flipper or left to drainage-land. That slingshot is even worse!

These tables can be maddening, because while in normal pinball you can kill on one ball and then drain easily on the other two, the high of a decent first ball in the above two games, like a 3,000 in Soccer Kings - Retro, to then drain out on a single bumper pop the next two balls is such a quick an cruel come down. Sure, this can happen in any of the other retro tables like Hot Wheels - Retro, and can be frustrating, however there is something special for Soccer Kings and Mexico '86 that make those Retro tables to me, the most maddening Retro tables in the Magic Pixel library... that I keep going to.
 

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