The Top 25 Video Game Villains of Every Subtype Imaginable

CC13

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Next Time on The Top 25 Nintendo Villains: The left hand doesn't need to know what the right hand is doing...

Alright, I guess this clue wasn't as clear as I had initially believed, so here's a follow-up clue: the villain I have in mind comes from a sequel to a game that has already shown up in the rankings.
 

CC13

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Alright, I guess this clue wasn't as clear as I had initially believed, so here's a follow-up clue: the villain I have in mind comes from a sequel to a game that has already shown up in the rankings.

It seems I miscalibrated my clues again, so let me give it another shot: the game I have in mind featured Bowser, Ganondorf and Mewtwo.
 

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Crazy Hand???

Yes, it is Crazy Hand! I apologize for the long turnaround on this one, but I felt really drained these past few weeks. Anyway, what makes this second hand a first-rate Nintendo baddie? Keep reading to find a sinister clue:

13. Crazy Hand (Super Smash Bros. Melee)
Developed By: HAL Laboratory
Published By: Nintendo
Platform: GameCube
Year of Release: 2001

With the first Super Smash Bros. having proven itself such a hit on the N64, a follow-up on the GameCube was inevitable. As the first game had been quite a bare-bones experience, the theme with Melee was more—more characters, more items, more stages, more moves (this is the entry that introduced Side Specials to the characters' movesets) and more Nintendo nostalgia than anyone ever thought possible to cram onto a minidisc. With Nintendo raising the stakes all around, an upgrade to the antagonists was only to be expected. Thus, the previous entry's Fighting Polygon Team was out and the Wireframe Fighters and Crazy Hand, our subject for today, were in.

As befits a mysterious antagonist making his debut, even getting to fight Crazy Hand is a bit of a trick. To get him to appear, reach the final battle of Classic Mode in under 15 minutes on Normal or higher without continuing. Once you do so, knock Master Hand down to 150 HP (he starts with 300) and Crazy Hand will appear. Most of Crazy Hand's attacks are similar to his right-handed brother's, but he has two vicious additions to his arsenal: bombs that he can drop on you and an attack where he rolls on the ground, smacking you around for massive damage if you have the bad luck of getting caught in the attack. In addition, Crazy Hand's "finger walking" attack is much more dangerous than Master Hand's, as he skitters across the stage on all 5 fingers, making this attack not only much faster, but also liable to hit you multiple times if you get caught in it. Worst of all, if both hands are still alive, they can do a number of cooperative attacks, including a wicked double punch, where the two hands meet in the middle to crush you, which can easily KO you if you get too close to the edges.

The Hands come back for a rematch in Event Match #50, The Showdown, where you must face both hands with full complements of 300 HP. Focus on one hand at a time and keep an eye on Crazy Hand, as he will sometimes spend large amounts of time doing nothing, giving you the opportunity to either go one-on-one with Master Hand for a bit or wail on Crazy Hand as he just sits there. Aside from that, the usual strategies apply; expect your reflexes to be well-tested here.

I think I've established that Crazy Hand is a formidable opponent indeed, but what is it that makes him a great Nintendo antagonist to me? My take on it is that he resonates so well with his game. This is a bit tricky for me to put into words, but it goes something like this: to begin, having the antagonists of a Nintendo-wide crossover be a pair of hands was probably inevitable or close to it, as Nintendo have long had a yen for disembodied hands as final bosses (take a look at this article if you don't believe me, as well as this forum thread and TVTropes' entry on Giant Hands of Doom, which has an entire subsection for Nintendo games); few other ideas would have carried the same overtones of Nintendo nostalgia that are almost mandatory for the Original Generation antagonists of a Nintendo crossover.

In addition to their design making sense given their purpose, they also uphold the underlying theme of celebration of creativity that undergirds all well-designed crossovers. Specifically, the presence of two hands can be read as a kind of meta-statement on how creativity works–I find it quite interesting in retrospect, for example, that the first Super Smash Bros., which obviously had no appearance by Crazy Hand, also played very close to the vest where its character roster is concerned, with the eight starting characters (Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox and Pikachu) all coming from well-established franchises, while out of the secret characters, Luigi and Jigglypuff are also rather safe choices, with only Captain Falcon (whose moveset was designed from scratch for SSB64) and Ness (hailing, of course, from the cult classic Mother/EarthBound titles) standing out as truly daring roster choices.

Contrast this with what we see in Melee; though several of the newcomers are very conservative choices (Bowser, in particular, is surprising only in his non-appearance in the first game), three character choices stand out for going against the grain: the Ice Climbers (coming from an NES/arcade title that was over 15 years old at the time and did not have particularly many fans), Marth (representing the Fire Emblem series, which had not yet made its way to the West and, in fact, got its chance because of Melee's success) and Mr. Game & Watch (representing, of course, Nintendo's storied line of LCD handheld games, which hadn't seen a new entry in close to 10 years at the time of Melee's release). This balance in roster expansion cuts to the heart of what the hands might be trying to tell us, which is that creativity requires a balance of structure and experimentation to reach its full potential. My reading of the game's subtext does somewhat run against the grain of its text (Crazy Hand's trophy describes him as "impulsive and destructive, consumed with that hollow feeling which comes from destroying one's own creations"), but I hardly think it a stretch for Crazy Hand to suffer the continued existence of the Smash universe because its battles amuse him; besides, when taken in tandem with Master Hand's love of creation, the trophy only further corroborates the idea that Master Hand and Crazy Hand have some intentional dualism to them.

Thus, we see that Crazy Hand is one of the most well-designed Nintendo villains nobody talks about as such. With impressive combat abilities, a design that calls back a classic Nintendo boss design trope and surprising thematic resonance, Crazy Hand can stand proud among Nintendo's most memorable foes.

Next Time on The Top 25 Nintendo Villains: I am the eye in the sky...
 

CC13

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Not quite, Sean. Think of it this way: since the clue is 'I am the eye in the sky...', try to think of a Nintendo villain who has often taken an airborne form with a single eye.

I can see we won't get anywhere along this line of inquiry, so try this new clue on for size: the villain I have in mind has possessed another character in all three of his appearances.
 

CC13

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I can see we won't get anywhere along this line of inquiry, so try this new clue on for size: the villain I have in mind has possessed another character in all three of his appearances.

This line of inquiry isn't working out, so let's try this angle instead: the villain I have in mind hails from a series known for appearing late in the life cycles of Nintendo systems.
 

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I think I'm the only one playing anymore...

Kracko, from the various Kirby series?

It is indeed the Kirby games, but Kracko isn't quite who I had in mind. Here's one more clue: the villain I have in mind debuted in a game released in 1995.

Also, I'll admit that the turnout for this list hasn't been quite what I'd hoped. Part of it is my own fault (the delays on the last few entries almost certainly haven't helped, nor did my muffing 2 of my own clues), but I also think Nintendo and this forum may not be a perfect match. The average age here seems to be around the late 30s to early 40s, which would mean most forum members' formative gaming experiences would have centered around the arcade games of the late '70s and early '80s and/or the second generation of consoles, which was a few years before the NES made its way to North America, so most members' reference pools for Nintendo will end up being fairly small.

I'm here. I just don't know the answers. :eek:

Don't worry about it–Nintendo's lore goes a lot deeper than most people recognize (also, I seem to have a unique talent for making my clues incredibly obtuse even when I'm actively trying to do the opposite). I think people just want me to get to Ganondorf and Bowser already–netizen's already guessed Ganondorf 3 or 4 times.
 

CC13

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It is indeed the Kirby games, but Kracko isn't quite who I had in mind. Here's one more clue: the villain I have in mind debuted in a game released in 1995.

OK, let's recap our clues:

1) The villain I have in mind typically takes the form of an eye hovering in the air.

2) He has made three confirmed appearances in total.

3) In each of these, he possessed another character.

4) He hails from the Kirby series.

5) He is not Kracko.

6) His debut game was released in 1995.

What does that add up to when you put it all together?
 

CC13

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Closest thing I can think of is Zero, the leader of the Dark Matter.

That is indeed what I was going for! What makes Dark Matter such an imposing for for everyone's favorite one tough cream puff? Read on to find out:

12. Dark Matter (Kirby's Dream Land 2)
Developed By: HAL Laboratory
Published By: Nintendo
Platform: Game Boy
Year of Release: 1995

Since its inception in 1992, the Kirby series has been known as a kinder, gentler sort of platformer than most of its fellows in the genre. Though 100% completion often proves a daunting task, simply getting to the end of the game is rarely a difficult feat (though odds are good that you will end up getting a bad ending unless you achieved the aforementioned 100% completion). This lighter and softer brand of gameplay is well-represented in the aesthetics of the games themselves, from the pink puffball himself to the usually upbeat soundtrack to the series' minor health items taking the form of sweets. Even the enemies rarely look threatening, with common enemy Waddle Dee even taking up the fight alongside Kirby in Kirby's Return to Dream Land, with spear in hand and bandana on brow.

However, the big bads of the Kirby series prove a major exception to this pattern. Starting with Kirby's Adventure, Kirby has faced off with a panoply of eldritch abominations, including Kirby's Adventure end boss Nightmare, Milky Way Wishes machinator Marx, needle-wielding sorcerer Yin-Yarn from Kirby's Epic Yarn and Kirby-splitting fiend Necrodeus from Kirby Mass Attack. However, one force stands above the rest for their tenacity, their disturbing appearance and their sheer ruthlessness: Dark Matter.

What makes Dark Matter stand out among Kirby's crowded rogues' gallery? It all starts with their wonderfully disturbing base design, with a single unblinking eye peering out from a blob of inky blackness. HAL wasn't done yet, though, as this design gets an even more unnerving tweak when you fight Zero Two at the end of Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. Initially, Zero Two takes an angelic form, but once you wail on him for a bit, the to-be-expected form of a single all-seeing eye makes its appearance. As if a single floating eye weren't creepy enough, somebody at HAL Laboratory decided it would be a great idea to have Zero Two's eye be crying tears of blood.

In addition to a memorable design, Dark Matter are also known among Kirby fans for their deviousness. Dark Matter only makes their presence known if pressed, preferring instead to possess another character and work through them. King Dedede was the Dark Matter's victim of choice in Kirby's Dream Land 2 and Kirby's Dream Land 3 and a secondary possession victim in Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, but in that game, the Queen Fairy of Ripple Star, who was the one who sent Ribbon out to find you in the first place, is the primary victim and can only be freed from her possession by collecting all 72 Crystal Shards, which enables Kirby to blast the possessed Queen with a ray of light that drives Zero Two and his Dark Matter out of her.

Finally, Dark Matter have faced Kirby more than any other antagonist, with 3 confirmed canonical appearances under their belt: Kirby's Dream Land 2, Kirby's Dream Land 3 and Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. In addition, Dark Matter may also have links to up to 3 other titles in the Kirby series. Many fans of the Kirby series also link Dark Matter to Kirby's Return to Dream Land, theorizing that one of them possessed the final antagonist of that title, while the official 20th anniversary Kirby guidebook released in Japan strongly suggests that Squeak Squad final boss Dark Nebula may also be a part of the forces of Dark Matter. Finally, the original Dark Matter makes a return appearance in Kirby Quest, an RPG-themed Kirby Mass Attack sub-game, where he is the final boss.

Why has Dark Matter proven so enduring? In many ways, they represent the opposite of what Kirby stands for. If one thinks about where the inspiration for Kirby's signature power-copying ability came from, the most likely answer is that the concept of a child playing dress-up. Masahiro Sakurai clearly intended for his audience to view Kirby as an innocent, childlike figure, with Kirby: Right Back At Ya! even making him almost infant-like by making him almost entirely non-verbal. Furthermore, as Kirby can easily discard an unwanted power to acquire a new one, the spirit of the two is largely the same–that is to say, trying on new identities without needing to feel particularly attached to any particular one. Therefore, it stands to reason that Dark Matter stands for the mysterious, frightening ways of the adult world, even possessing the power to make Kirby's friends act in ways he knows they normally never would.

So far, this all should be pretty straightforward, but here's where things get interesting. Why, precisely, would a childlike Sugar Bowl like Popstar draw so many forces representing the adult world to it? Though one can scarcely say for certain, one distinct possibility is that those forces are after Kirby himself...but why would that be? Could Kirby possibly have once been part of Dark Matter? Such a proposal may seem outré, but it would not be without precedent—in Kirby's Dream Land 3, Gooey, the Player 2 character, is canonically a former minion of Dark Matter. Furthermore, it would explain both the source of Kirby's powers and his surprising amount of volition for such a childlike, even infantile, entity.

What does this all add up to? Since we already established that Dark Matter are a stand-in for the seemingly terrifying adult world from a child's perspective, then if Kirby is a deserter from Dark Matter, then that means that he wants to return to a more childlike state. If Dark Matter are still pursuing Kirby, then that means that they do not approve of his desertion. Thus, the pieces fall into place: the 'point' of the Kirby series, so to speak, is that, however much lip service society gives to the notion of rediscovering your inner child, the world will give you grief for actually going ahead with that, but if you do go ahead with it, the gains in adaptability and insight will easily mad up for any negative societal consequences you might face.

Thus, we see why Dark Matter have achieved such a lofty place in the halls of Nintendo villainy. With a solid design, effective scheming, several appearances and undertones to their games that resonate with many older Nintendo fans, Dark Matter make a strong showing and reign supreme amongst Kirby's antagonists.

Next Time on The Top 25 Nintendo Villains: I HAVE FURY!
 

CC13

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Fawful... Yes...

I thought this would be one of the easier ones to guess! What is the mustard of Fawful's #11 position? Read the article of your answerings below:

11. Fawful (Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga)
Developed By: AlphaDream Corp.
Published By: Nintendo
Platform: Game Boy Advance
Year of Release: 2003

By the end of the Super NES' time as Nintendo's primary home console, Mario had risen from his humble beginnings to become almost synonymous with video games. His portfolio covered nearly every genre of gaming imaginable, from the platformers that had made his name to puzzle games to sports to edutainment to creativity software to pinball. However, RPGs remained untouched by the face of Nintendo until 1996, when Nintendo and Square released Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. This collaboration proved a fruitful one, with the original title selling over 2 million units worldwide and outlining the basic elements for Mario's future RPG outings, including the iconic timed hits systems, the strongly tongue-in-cheek tone, the lack of extreme difficulty in the main campaigns and the fairly simple system mechanics (I've heard Super Mario RPG described as 'a beginner's RPG done right' more than once).

However, largely because of the aging Game Boy's rather weak processor power, it would take another 7 years for Mario RPGs to make their way onto handhelds, despite the long relationship of RPGs and handheld gaming systems. Most would call Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga worth the wait, though, as its off-the-wall humor, fun combination attacks for the Mario Bros., catchy music and surprisingly memorable antagonists make for one of the premiere RPGs on the Game Boy Advance.

First, I should address the humor element of the Mario RPGs, but especially the Mario & Luigi titles. Fawful (Gerakobits to any Japanese readers I may or may not have) is the focal point of the humor of two of the Mario & Luigi titles (he doesn't appear at all in Dream Team and only sells you badges in Partners in Time). This starts with his appearance, with his swirly glasses, toothy perpetual grin and massive green head creating an obvious figure of fun. However, Fawful's most-remembered attribute is his strange speech pattern, which draws heavily from the Engrish-laden video game translations of the '80s and early '90s. Here are just a few of the gems from Fawful's dialogue:

"Beef? I am lacking in beef. Fawful is beefless."
"Fawful sings a song of bad!♪ The Mushroom Kingdom is so sad!♪ All of it is for Fawful!♪ And the...rhyme...with that!♪"
"I HAVE FURY!"
"ONE FELL SWOOP IS HOW I WILL DEAL WITH YOU FINK-RATS!!!"
"You keep appearing like an ugly rabbit out of a hat of a magician who stinks!"

As much laughter as Fawful inspires, though, he is still a very competent foe to both the Mario Bros. and Bowser, with his villainous feats including the revival of Superstar Saga villainess Cackletta, causing a Blorb outbreak in the Mushroom Kingdom, manipulating Bowser into eating a Vacuum Mushroom & inhaling the entire populace of the Mushroom Kingdom, brainwashing Bowser's forces and reviving & fusing with the Dark Star. That last feat actually proved to be Fawful's undoing in Bowser's Inside Story, as doing so transformed him into Dark Fawful, a more powerful form; however, Bowser and the Mario Bros. defeat Dark Fawful, who collapses into the Dark Fawful Bug and ends up getting inhaled by Dark Bowser, causing Dark Bowser to gain corporeal form.

After Dark Bowser is defeated, Dark Fawful revives him and makes him grow giant-sized, with Bowser having to first expel Dark Fawful from Dark Bowser's body with a punch to the stomach, then inhale him so the Mario Bros. can defeat him and the Dark Star Core that his body protects. Fawful's body does get shattered during the fight, but Fawful has one last trick up his sleeve—with little left of him but his glasses and his trademark toothy grin (now down a few teeth), Fawful explodes in one last attempt to destroy his three hated enemies, but only succeeds in reversing the effects of the Vacuum Mushroom and restoring the Mushroom Kingdom to its former state.

Despite his seemingly final end about 5 years ago, his popularity has endured, with Fawful remaining one of the most-requested characters for Super Smash Bros. (I wouldn't bet on seeing him in SSB4, though) and his speech spawning numerous memes. Fawful stands as not only one of Nintendo's most memorable villains, but also one of its most memorable characters. His character design reflects his demented personality perfectly, he fits right into the Mario RPGs' goofy aesthetic without losing credibility as an antagonist, his list of antagonistic achievements is quite impressive and, though it looks as though Fawful has met his final defeat, he certainly went down swinging. On top of that, Fawful remains the only major non-Bowser antagonist to make multiple Mario RPG appearances, so it's easy to see how he managed to catch on with the fans. Even though bringing him back from that end won't be an easy feat, I sincerely hope we'll see more of everyone's favorite Engrish-spewing Beanling sooner instead of later...

Next Time on The Top 25 Nintendo Villains: The pennant of flame shall light the way...
 

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